Grand Marshal

If you’ve ever wanted life advice from someone truly wise, may I introduce Grand Marshal—the distinguished 15-year-old dachshund with a snout so impressive, it practically points toward life’s deepest mysteries. At 15 pounds, this refined gentleman is still mobile and enjoys moderate walks, though he mostly prefers hanging out with his fellow creatures. He is very tolerant of questionable decisions, such as giving him a cat companion or forgetting to give him treats. With his deep, soulful eyes, he’s the kind of dog who could unlock the secrets of the universe and allow you all the introspection you need. Long snout technology tells us that he will happily offer companionship, good-natured wisdom, and a wagging tail whenever you need reassurance that, yes, eating a second dinner is absolutely a valid life choice.